How Long Does it Take to Heal Emotionally? (and How to Shorten it)

When’s the last time you felt a huge boulder on your chest, dropped to your knees and started bawling, letting out a waterfall of grief, sadness and emotional pain, feeling like everything is wrong and nothing could ever feel right again? 

Maybe it was a breakup, maybe a person or animal you hold dear just passed, maybe it was news that shook your reality into pieces, never to be the same again.

In the midst of being in this gloomy, dark hole, I bet you asked yourself at one point, “Omg, how long is this going to last?!”

Read on for the answers and a step-by-step process to shorten the healing process so you can get bounce back on your feet, faster.

First, I need to say…

Emotional healing is natural and healthy, despite what society tells us.

Emotional healing is the natural process by which we feel and release negative emotions, traumas, limiting beliefs and old narratives as we progress through life.

The process of emotional healing is natural. Knowing this helps remove the shame of feeling emotionally down and helps people move through it faster.

The Law of Cycles is a Universal Law that states that everything happens in cycles. Your life unfolds in cycles. That includes your emotional state and how your life is generally going.

Emotional healing happens in cycles, too. We alternate through periods of feeling amazing and everything is great, to experiencing more difficult situations, feeling down and needing to process traumas or negative emotions that we’re experiencing. 

Each period of emotional healing could last from 30 minutes to a few months. Taking 30 minutes to process sadness from a disappointment you recently had is a lot different than grieving the passing of a loved one. Very different in intensity and the amount of time needed to heal, but still both a period of emotional healing.

A major life event could trigger a period of healing, in which you might have to release grief and sadness. Or, your natural growth and development might require you to go through a period of healing to release a layer of limiting beliefs and old narratives that don’t correspond with who you’re evolving into.

Not only is healing natural, but you should be going through these periods of emotional healing. Contrary to what mainstream culture says, I’ll be controversial and say that it’s a good sign! 

Because at the end of each healing period, we’re a slightly different person with a tad more wisdom, truth, love and maturity. These periods of healing transform us, no matter how small.

If you aren’t going through periods of healing, you’re either resisting or repressing negative emotions, or your life is stagnant and not expanding as your life continues to progress. These states are actually the unnatural ones that result in deterioration of physical, mental and emotional health over time.

I’ve gotten to a point where if I’m feeling down and I feel that I need to release some negative emotions, I feel really happy on a more abstract level! I see it as one more layer of junk to remove from my mind, emotions and my energy system so I can feel more light, free and authentically me!

So how long does it take to heal emotionally?

It depends on the individual. Two people could go through the same devastating event and one person could heal in a few weeks, while the other person might take months.

There could be a lot of reasons for that, one obvious one being that they are two different people with different narratives, pasts and habits that can positively or negatively affect the healing process.

But one common reason for discrepancies is how people view and approach the process of healing. It’s their attitude towards the process of emotional healing that makes the biggest difference.

I find that people who have a hard time healing are the ones that don’t recognize that they need to process their emotions. Therefore, they don’t take the necessary steps to fully heal and move forward as the next evolution of themselves. Instead, they’ll try to numb their discomfort or ignore it completely.

The downside to this is that these people will never fully heal and that will become a wound that lurks under the surface in the subconscious mind, waiting to be triggered. This wound also exists energetically and will cause a more permanent energetic imbalance which tends to result in physical illness over time.

These are most people, quite frankly. That’s not their fault, it’s because many cultures don’t recognize the natural cycle of emotional ups and downs. At least in American society, if you aren’t happy and productive, something is wrong with you, which is damaging and simply untrue. 

Look at the amount of anti-anxiety and antidepressant medication that’s given out pretty liberally. Not saying that these aren’t helpful to some folks, but the attitude that feeling down is an issue that needs to be corrected with medication says a lot about how our culture approaches emotional healing. Luckily, things are slowly changing!

On the other hand, the people that recognize that they are in a fertile period of emotional healing and respect that, tend to heal faster and return back to a state of emotional balance faster. 

They respect their state of healing by giving themselves the space and time to acknowledge their emotions and release them. This also means giving themselves the time to reflect. If there are any lessons to be learned and integrated, they try to do this to become more wise and mature for next time.

This takes a certain level of awareness and dedication to your emotional and mental health. It can be hard for some people to rearrange their schedules and put aside time to lean into difficult emotions. But, you’ll shorten the period of emotional healing and you’ll find yourself in better spirits sooner rather than later.

Like most people, this is something that I’ve had to learn to do as an adult. But now it’s become normal for me. I expect that I’ll have periods of healing that I need to respect and work through. My reward is my transformation into the most wise, mature, loving, healthy and authentic version of myself that I can be! Totally worth it.

Here’s a step-by-step process to shorten your period of healing and heal with more intention and grace:

1. Take a step back and acknowledge that you’re going through a period of emotional healing.

To take the next steps with intention, you need to fully acknowledge that yes, you are going through a period of healing. No, there’s nothing wrong with you. Yes, there are steps you can take to gracefully navigate and shorten the healing process.

2. Schedule time to relax and hold space for your emotions.

If you try to push through it and stay super busy to avoid your feelings, one of two things will happen. One, you’ll be an anxious and teary mess, always on the brink of breaking down emotionally until one day you finally do. Or two, you’ll feel numb in all of your emotions. You can’t repress the negative emotions without repressing the positive ones.

There’s no way around it– schedule down time to do this in the comfort of your home. 

If it’s a smaller emotional release that you feel is a one-off thing, schedule 30 minutes to a few hours.

If it’s a bigger period of healing, like grieving a death or a relationship, schedule at least an hour everyday for emotional release. As you continue to heal and you have less to release, you can begin to taper off until you feel like you have reached the other side!

3. Feel your emotions and release them.

This is where people get stuck, because we’ve never learned how to do this (which boggles my mind that this was never taught to us, but I guess a lot of us grew up in the last century 😂)

Sit down comfortably or lay in your bed and put your awareness in your body where you feel the negative emotions.

Maybe it’s pressure in your chest; a knot in your stomach or numbness in your entire body.

As you notice it and lean into it, it will start to increase in intensity. This is good because it means that energetically, it’s coming up fully to be released.

Do whatever intuitively you feel like doing. Maybe it’s crying. Maybe it’s yelling. Maybe it’s hitting the floor with your fists. Maybe it’s journaling. Maybe it’s singing. It’s highly individual. Just roll with it.

Continue in this flow of releasing. If this has been building up, it will take a few minutes of intense feeling. That’s okay, just know that it will come to an end in a few minutes, I promise.

Sorry for this analogy, but it’s like pooing. You just need to get it out. When you pay attention, you know when you need to do it, you know when it’s done and you’ll feel a lot better when it’s over.

When you feel the emotion decreasing and your releasing is decreasing in intensity, continue with it until you feel more calm and light.

Congratulations! You just successfully released a layer of negative emotion in the healing process.

You probably feel a little more sensitive, although much better. Take it easy for the rest of the day and lean into some self-care.

4. Learn any lessons and integrate them through action

 I like to do this after emotional releasing because I can see things more objectively when I’m feeling more peaceful and light. 

Ask yourself- is there anything that I need to learn from this?

If someone hurt you, if you just went through a breakup, if a loved one passed– is there anything that you could do next time for a more healthy, positive experience?

Notice, is there anything that pops into your mind pretty quickly? Anything that you regret? 

This is the lesson that you are meant to learn through this experience. To prevent it from popping up again, clearly decide how you will act differently next time. Be clear and firm.

Integrate it into your life through action— meaning, hold yourself accountable for acting differently next time. We can have good intentions, but if we don’t change our actions, things won’t actually change in our lives.

If you don’t feel like there’s a lesson and you have no regret then skip this step. Sometimes it’s just grief or sadness that we just need to release and that’s perfectly okay.

5. Treat yourself with a lot of love and compassion like you would a child.

You’re in a cycle of healing, so you need to have love and compassion for yourself. If this is more difficult for you, then take this time to learn and practice how to care for yourself mentally and emotionally. A lot of us weren’t taught how to do this, and that’s okay. You can start learning now.

If you can, lighten your work load and reduce extraneous responsibilities and commitments for a little bit.

Eat foods that nourish you but also make you happy. Have a little extra of that dark chocolate you love.

Take some time everyday to move your body that feels good. Maybe that’s a walk in the sun, yoga or a sweaty time at the gym. Energetically, exercise squirts out stagnant, congested energy in your energy field that makes you feel more tired and down.

Commit to doing more of the things that make you feel soothed, happy and relaxed– maybe that’s baths, uplifting movies and shows, being in nature, reading a nice book, listen to inspiring music, play music, do some crafting, cook your favorite dish– whatever makes you smile, do it!!

6. Reach out to loved ones for support.

We tend to isolate ourselves when we feel down. But this is the most important time to reach out to people you love and trust.

We feel alone but actually, everyone has been through more difficult times emotionally. It’s an experience natural to being human.

You aren’t a burden to others. People love you and when someone gives their love and energy to someone they love, nothing warms the heart more. You’re actually giving them an opportunity to be of service and share their love, which is the sweetness in life.

7. Invest in assistance for healing– like energy healing specifically for emotional healing, coaching or therapy.

You don’t have to heal alone. There are professionals that specialize in helping people through emotional and mental healing.

If you’re interested in weekly energy Pranic Healing sessions, energetic coaching and Voxer support for deep emotional and mental healing, I offer a safe, supportive, loving 10 week container of healing called The Deep Healing Transformation. Assisting women on the emotional and mental healing journey is my passion and speciality, it’s my jam!

If you want to shorten your healing process, reduce the amount of negative emotions you need to release and feel better, faster– click here to learn more.

I hope this helps you in shortening the time it takes to emotionally heal. If you put intention, time and energy into the healing process when you are in a period of emotional healing, you'll be rewarded with better health physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, too!

Comment below and let me know– what helps you shorten your periods of emotional healing?

Sending you so much love, light and blessings! 🥰

Suzie